Marriage Barkhan
Marriages take place at a relatively high age (often after 30 years of age for males). There are various reasons for this. One is the vulvar (bride price), which is paid by the bridegroom before or after his marriage, sometimes in instalments, in the shape of money or property, or in exchange for a husband for the bridegroom’s sister. The average bride price extends from Rs. 120,000 to Rs. 150,000, depending on the age, status and beauty of the girl. The result is that men who cannot afford to pay vulvar have to wait for marriage.25 Concessions in the price of vulvar is however allowed in marriages of near relatives.
After the vulvar is settled, the engagement take place in a single ceremony at the house of the parents of the bride, in the presence of relatives of both parties. A date is then fixed for nikah and marriage ceremony. After the wedding the bride is taken to her new home. On this occasion dance and music are arranged and gun shorts are also fired. Due to old customs, the role of women is very limited. It is generally the father who decides upon the formal terms of marriage, though they may be influenced to greater or lesser degree by his wife, whose female network is vital in this sense. The bride has no say in the contract, while sons can exercise veto power over the choice of marriage partner, depending upon the son’s economic independence. Although provisions in Islamic Sharia law allow women to accept or turn down their marriage partners, local customs prohibit it. However, changes are noticed in urban areas, where educated girls may show their unwillingness for a match.
Marriages with near relations, although not always the rule, are preferred, because exchange can easily be arranged, the bride price is lower, the parties are already mutually acquainted and their mutual relations will be strengthened by the marriage tie.